The Weekend Australian,
March 23-24, 2013, presents a short
but evocative story about a young man, Christopher Drake, who was drowned in the sea
off Sydney’s northern beaches earlier this week.
In terms of the “inverted pyramid” used by journalists, the creator
of this article, Trent Dalton, creates maximum impact by writing in his initial
paragraph:
Monstrous waves of ocean, crippling wave of emotion: the friends and
family of Christopher Drake endured both this week as his lifeless body was
pushed and pulled for four agonising days by a cruel sea off Sydney’s northern
beaches. (The Nation, p. 3).
In his introduction, Dalton has used the six questions which
will unlock any story – who, what,
where, when, why and how. He
has not given us the finer details (they come later) but he has certainly got
us hooked and keen to read more.
Later in the story, Trent Dalton further involves us by including an alleged report that Christopher Drake may have been attempting to help
two girls trapped in the same violent rock pool as himself. The use of an appealing “boy next door” image
(see L.) and the loving comments of his parents and friends also engage our interest and our sympathy.
This is not, however, an entirely adulatory article and
balance is provided by the comments of the life savers who have revealed that the
beach was closed on that particular day due to appalling conditions and that
the swimmer may, himself, have been sky-larking and participating in a dangerous
practice known as “chain surfing”. These
details help us to see that an intelligent, likeable young man may have been instrumental in his own demise by
participating in highly risky behavour.
If I have one criticism about this otherwise excellent
article, it is the headline. Surely,
“Friends and family mourn a fit, smiling hero taken early by wild waves in his
river of life” is too long and also, perhaps, not entirely honest given that
the term “hero” implies proven, purely altruistic, motives. I believe that a headline such as “Fit young man
taken by wild waves” would be pithier - and perhaps fairer in view of the as yet unanswered
questions contained in this tragic story.
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